F@#K Sh*t Up

Anyone who has been a parent understands how closely our hearts are connected to our children. At times like this I question whether it’s a blessing or a curse.

Leaving home may be the hardest transition a child has to make. I’m not really sure because my personal experience was eagerly venturing off to college with my then boyfriend who is still the man I am married to today. While I missed my parents and the comforts of my home, this new life was exciting and full of possibilities.

When my daughter left for college her excitement for her newfound independence helped ease the transition for both of us. I missed her immensely; she was my best friend, errand buddy and workout buddy and I was her and her friends (you know who you are) confidant. But she handled this new life with courage and grace, just as she had handled everything in her young life.

But how does a parent cope when that transition isn’t so easy? When our hearts are so still so entwined with our young. When their pain feels like our pain. When we haven’t quite differentiated from our child nor them from us.

I’m finding that out as our youngest struggles with not only separating from us and his old life but separating from the girl that he loves. Anyone who knows our son knows his humor first, his ability to connect with people and the uncanniness of his emotional intelligence for an 18-year-old boy. Up until this point those qualities have helped him navigate through all of life’s challenges. And now as he grapples with this milestone, he will be faced with digging deep to discover strengths of which he hasn’t even been aware.

As a new empty nester, you put your needs and sadness on hold and feel for your kid; the young man or women who is trying to figure out some of life’s hardest lessons; lessons we all struggle with in our lifetime. Lessons regarding redefining yourself, of coping with grief and loss, lessons of finding your inner strength, of knowing you aren’t defined by other people and most importantly lessons of resiliency and perseverance. And, finally, the lesson that you are responsible for creating the beautiful, fulfilling life that you deserve.

And to the parent sitting by and watching, our lesson is to have faith that we have given our children the love, guidance and confidence to create that beautiful life awaiting them.

So, to all the kids and parents out there,