We are compelled to seek relationships with others, it a natural instinct. However, we are also driven to know ourselves as individuals. This can create a tug-of-war, the yin and yang of coming together and needing to follow your personal path. Healthy couples have the ability to do this, it becomes a dance. It comes from knowing yourself and respecting your wants and needs and aspirations and respecting those same needs of your partner. Encouraging our partner’s growth is critical, even if what he or she is striving to do does not include us, trusting him or her to follow their dreams reinforces within the relationship that each partner can have what they want; a relationship and their own self.
When faced with change it may not feel as though you have any options, things may feel out of your control, you may become immobilized and overwhelmed as it feels like there are too many details and decisions that need to be made. A sense of urgency prevails.
Helping you build your ideal life and your ideal relationships
Change is unavoidable and necessary for growth. It is out of change that we are presented with new possibilities, new opportunities, that you never imagined before. By attempting to resist change the more uncomfortable it can become. It may feel as though it is controlling us rather than you being in control of how you choose to interpret and act in the face of change.
As a counselor I assist my clients to look upon change in a new way, instead of something happening to them, but working with my clients to create strategies to view change in a positive way, view potential outcomes as opportunities and create ways to experience change in a healthy productive ways. Building your personal power. Getting change to work for you, rather than against you.
Within each of us is a desire to be independent and know ourselves, and also to come together with another. It may feel like opposing forces, yet both are necessary for healthy development. There are times when we feel we cannot act like an individual, it may be an unpopular choice to pursue things that you feel passionate about. There are times when it feels like the people closest to us are struggling against our need for individuality. They may feel threatened that you may grow in ways they themselves would like to grow, or they may be resisting change. The other need is connect intimately with another, with shared dreams and passions. We seek security and support to handle disappointments, change, and loss.
As a counselor I can help you as an individual and as a couple to create an environment where each person feels valued, respected, and loved. I am able to assist you to clarify your wants and needs within the relationship, facilitate communication that is productive and respectful, and challenge you with homework between counseling sessions that supports and promotes the goals you have established for counseling and for your relationship.
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